Two weeks to MOD 2

This past week started the last classes of MOD 1. My God, time is just flying by.

First class was Health and Fitness, which meets at the Fitness Center. Nice, I get to swim for the price of my tuition. We found out that we have requirements for Health and Fitness in order to pass the first year (I knew I should have read that orientation booklet more carefully.) 24 hours of some sort of aerobic activity that doesn’t include school related things (so hiking my ass uphill to the cafeteria every day doesn’t count) and 24 hours of “wellness,” which is relaxing stuff like yoga, reading, attending concerts or movies, etc. Shouldn’t be too tough, but it’s all gotta be documented. I am tempted to put down “spent half an hour each morning reading” and let them figure it out.

Next is Culinary Math, which is basically recipe costing, conversions, etc. Here’s a recipe, make it work for 100 additional people, now how much does it cost, and what should we charge for it so we can still make money off it? Joy.

Then History and Food Culture – we trace food back to its roots (snrk snrk) and how people came up with all the different ways to make things. Why ingredients go together. Where it all started. That kinda stuff.

Finally, we have PM Cafeteria. Same as AM Cafeteria, but we only have to do dinner. We also learn a bit more about various countries, cultures, and things like Vegetarianism vs Veganism. (I had no idea there were so many varieties!) And then of course we make food for 90-100 ungrateful students who can barely microwave popcorn without setting fire to their dorms, but always know more about how to prepare dinner than the cooks do. So far it’s been a lot of fun, save for the days I had to work with a particular student who thinks the world revolves around her lately. Yesterday was especially cool – for one thing, we didn’t know what we were cooking until right before we had to make it (Iron Chef!) and second, we kicked ass on it. Mustard Crusted Pork Loin. Damn was it good.

We also had to work with something called “seitan.” Yes, that’s how it’s pronounced, and yes we had a good time at its expense. It’s sort of a wheat type of grain, but with odd properties. First you make a dough out of it, until it’s really dense. Then you tear it into small clumps and wash it in cold water to rinse out the starch. It literally falls apart into the consistency of wet chewing gum, then as you continue to work it, it comes back together when the gluten strands take over. You end up with a dough ball that is stored overnight, then simmered. Somehow, someone spent a weekend figuring this out. That’s the difference between rednecks and vegetarians I guess – rednecks get drunk and blow stuff up. Vegetarians create new meat-free dishes.