Fun with Spotify

Spotify has a neat feature that will suggest music based on your playlists. For the most part it’s been on the mark, but sometimes it goes into the woods without leaving a note. For example, I looked up Caro Emerald some years ago - I had never heard of her until I saw the game teaser for a “BioShock” add on that used “Just One Dance” as background music. I decided that I liked her and listened to a live performance. She does a really good show, unlike some artists who absolutely suck live. At the end of the playlist, Spotify drifted off to swing-land, giving me stuff from groups like Swingrowers, Jazzotron, and Pisk. (The only connection I could find is that a few of Caro Emerald’s songs have a Swingrowers remix version.) Honestly did not picture myself listening to Swingrowers, but “Enjoy the Moment” just gets you moving in the morning. Suddenly I’ve gone from rock to “electro-swing.” Some of it is cheesy, sure, like the idea that every group needs a Louie Armstrong impersonator. Some of them sound like they truly believe that they are still in the 1920’s.

But every now and then, I wanna say “Go home, Spotify, you’re drunk.” Some of the stuff it comes up with is beyond bizarre. For example:

“Like a Mother Fucker from Hell” - I know what you’re thinking, but no, it’s not by Kid Rock.

“Death to all but Metal” - Not for the squeamish.

“Come on and work that body.” That’s it. That’s the song. The guy just repeats that over and over, accompanied by piano.

“Fuck you, you’re a fucking wanker, we’re gonna punch you right in the balls.” I don’t think anything more needs to be said.

“I like you better when you’re naked.” Ooookay.

And let’s not forget the rock song based on “The Three Little Pigs.” I am not joking. Someone did a song that tells the story of the Three Little Pigs. Look it up, it’s worth a listen just for the laughs, especially when they send Rambo to fight off the Big Bad Wolf. “And the award for ‘Worst Stallone Impersonation’ goes to...”

At some point I was introduced to Battle Beast and others like them. Seems there is an entire genre of music dedicated to Odin and Norse legends. My first thought was that they must have watched “Thor” too many times. Battle Beast, thankfully, has moved on and did not mention the word “Mjolnir” once in their new release. Unfortunately that eventually leads to Cookie Monster singers. No no no and no. I just cannot listen to a guy who sounds like he gargled with gravel before hitting the studio.